Echelon92's Journals

i just want someone to be there and listen.

Last night was the biggest football game of the season. My school played the number one team in the country, St.Thomas Aquinas. There were thousands and thousands of people there, everyone was smiling, happy, and excited; But, I was standing in a dirty bathroom stall, bawling my eyes out because everything that had been happening over the past two weeks suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn't hold it in any longer.

My dad had given Aaron a blank check to buy three reserved tickets for the football game, but the asshole only bought two. My dad bought me a general admissions ticket, which meant I wouldn't be able to sit with them in the reserved section. My dad and Carter left me at the front entrance, my dad said I would find somebody to stand with, but after fifteen minutes of wandering the stadium I didn't. I found my dad again and used his phone to call my mom so she could text one of my friends, because I don't have a cell phone, but we'll get to that later.

My dad accused me of yelling at him and told me to calm down before leaving me yet again. Having him yell at me, and being left alone, along with the fact that I had no way to communicate with anyone made me hurry to the bathroom. I shut myself in a stall and cried, this happened on two different occasions. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I had no idea what was making me break down so easily.

But I just kept crying.

Two weeks ago my dad bought Aaron a cell phone, because he's Aaron and he gets everything he asks for. My dad turned off my phone last year, without telling me, and has refused to even buy me a pay-as-you-go, because I'm apparently undeserving. Aaron broke his XBox and my dad bought him a brand new one because he didn't want him to have to wait for his broken one to be fixed. He gets new clothes nearly every weekend, he gets to go places and do things with his friends, all the while I get stuck at home babysitting our little brother.

It doesn't help that Aaron now has a girlfriend, Rachel. Now, I am in no way jealous of his little 'relationship', but what annoys the shit out of me is the fact that he rubs it in my face every chance he gets. Guys don't see me as anything more than a friend, and I know that, it's not like I'm unaware, but Aaron makes sure I know it. You'll never have a boyfriend. You might as well become a lesbian. I'm over his arrogance.

Not only does he act like a five year old, he's a total douchebag to my mother. Ever since she left my father he uses that as a way to be able to be a total ass. He doesn't do anything she asks of him, he treats her like dirt, and refuses to do anything with our family. On Wednesday, my birthday, I had to go shoot portraits of all the grandchildren in the family. My aunt, the drama queen, forced Aaron to go along. He refused to take his phone out of his hand and take off his hat, took one picture and was done. She screamed at him, cried, and acted like a child until he would take one more. The entire time he glared and spouted off about how fucking stupid this was, he didn't care that our 2 and 7 year old cousins were there.

Now, everyday I have to listen to my mother complain about how much of an ass Aaron is. She complains about him, about how I don't do anything, how work sucks, how my dad can never pay child support on time (actually, he does, it's due on the 10th of each month, but she expects it on the 1st), I listen to her complain daily, but whenever I complain about something I'm lazy and ungrateful. I love my mother to death, and I know she loves me, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't take my feelings, my ideas, and my emotions into check.

And I listen to the same things with my father, but take out the name Aaron and replace it with my own. Apparently when I'm at his house I do absolutely nothing, even though I clean the house, kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedrooms, etc. Make sure the dishes are washed and the floor is mopped, making sure Harley's been taken out throughout the day while trying to get my homework for the weekend done. Oh, and taking care of Aaron and Carter, because apparently at the ages of 14 and 9 they cannot feed themselves.

Adding school into the mix just makes me want to shoot myself. As of right now I'm failing math. Just like last quarter. I haven't done homework for the past four classes, I failed a quiz, and I've basically just stopped trying. In English I've had to write at least three papers in the last three weeks, now I understand that it's a college class, but I can't do it, especially when I cannot stand the teacher. In all my other classes I'm having tons of homework each night, but I can manage them. They're mostly art classes save for Chem and History.

I guess everything just built up and being left at the football game was the spark that ignited the fire. I did find two of my friends after walking around for an hour, which was good.

I'm sorry if you read this. I just really, really needed to get this off my chest, because I really don't have anyone to talk to about it.

Superfun.

Do you ever bite your lip?
Yep

Who is in the pictures on your bedroom wall?
the Cobras, Madina Lake, ATL, The Matches, Frank Iero, P!ATD, Batman, me, and bunches of my peeps :]

What are you wearing right now?
Underoath T-shirt, soccer shorts

Could things be better in your life at the moment?
Ha, yes.

Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together
Fo sho!

What's your favorite type of energy drink?
Redbull

Do you eat teddy grahams?
I haven't had those in forever!

What is your favorite color of eyeliner?
Metallic navy blue, I looooves it.

Has a butterfly ever landed on your finger?
Nah

Would you rather have braces or glasses?
I've already got glasses, so...

Are you missing anyone right now?
Yepyep!

Does anyone know your password to your Facebook?
Nope, I don't think at least.

Do you have any tan lines?
Yes. Farmers tan, yeeuh

Has anyone ever given you roses?
Nope :/

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty lips?
No, but I've been told I've got giant lips, thanks Carter :P

Do your best friends know you well?
Very well

Is there any part of your body that hurts?
Yes

What made you laugh today?
My awkwardly self-cut bangs, haha.

Who do you tell everything to?
My bfffl Sara :D

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
I have no dinero

Where were you at 5:00 AM this morning?
Sleepin'!

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
That's a no.

Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Yes.

When was the last time you were given a gift?
Halloween, I got popcorn balls! Huzzah!

Where did your last hug take place?
The kitchen.

Does someone like you?
Puh-leez

What day of the week did/will your birthday fall on this year?
It's next Wednesday, mark your calenders!

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Depends

How mαny months until your birthdαy?
1 week 1 day

Whαt αre you excited αbout?
NBT9 and my birfday

Do you hαve αny tαttoos or piercings?
Ears are pierced, no tattoos yet

Do you curse α lot?
Nope

Whαt's something you wish you could understand better?
Chemistry. I get too distracted in that class to pay attention :/

Would you rαther help someone out or be helped out?
I suck at helping, but I'd still help someone out.

Whαt's on your bed?
laptop, notebook, backpack, pens, paper, AP, clock, camera, bag, remote, straightner, too much crap

Whαt αre you stressed αbout?
school, school, school, school

Are you in a relationship, single, complicated, married, or engaged?
I am single.

Do you have any weird inside jokes?
Too many to count.

Whats your current problem?
The massive amount of homework I need to get done.

Could you go a day without eating?
Yessir

Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
More than likely, no.

Do you find tattoos attractive?
Mhmm. Depends though.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Yes, I've gone almost 17 years, I think I could do without.

Where's the last place you went?
School :/

Last thing you ate?
Cranberry Relish

Last game you played?
Foosball, is that how you spell it?

Who was the last person you were in a car with?
My mom.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Surprisingly, I was asleep.

Do you fight with your parents often?
No, actually.

What's the greatest thing that you did today?
Finished painting Mr.N's room!

Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
Well, my shirt is an Underoath shirt I got at the show last Wednesday. It's gotta bunch of O's on the front with lines and words and more O's and lightening bolts, and Lost In The Sound Of Seperation Underoath all over. It's not as crazy as it sounds, I swear. And shorts I used to wear for soccer.

Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex?
Nope. My mother is a female, too.

Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?
Hopefully I will next year.

Who was the last guy you had a long conversation with?
Alexander

When was the last time you totally broke down?
A few months ago.

Are you a nice person?
I like to think so.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
Go to school, babysit a bunch of fourth graders, do homework. Woo.

Have you ever had a near death experience?
Not too many I don't think.

Who were the last 3 people you had feelings for?
Oh goodness, James and Alex. That's about it.

Do you like to run?
No.

Who of the opposite sex (other than family) has seen you at your worst?
I have no idea.

Have you ever slept a whole day away?
Yes.

Have you ever won anything from the radio?
No, but my mom won Grinch-mas tickets when I was in 3rd grade!

Do you remember what you wore last night?
New jeans, Blink-182 shirt, grey hoodie, turquoise vans.

Who will you hug next?
More than likely my mom.

Has this year been a good year?
Eh.

Will you keep your last name when you get married?
I have no idea?

Is there someone you wish you were still close with?
Yep. But, I guess I'm seeing her sometime soon...

How do you feel about your hair right now?
Oh god.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nope, Carter's the best little brother ever.

What were you doing at this time last year?
Going to school :/

Never Say Never - 56

I flinched at Maria's loud shouting. She flung her pincushion across the room and stormed about, occasionally throwing a crazed stare at my mother. "You said they were the correct measurements," she pointed a finger at me, though she was glaring at my mom, "That dress is at least a size too small! I was told that the measurements were correct! I cannot whip-up another few yards of fabric in a week and finish that dress!"

"Maria-" I began, but my mother's hand waved me silent. I was almost surprised at how loud such a small woman could be, but then again, my mother was known for her volume.

"I'm sure we can work this out," it was so unlike her to try and be rational. When someone yelled at my mother, she yelled back, but this time she stood calmly at my side as I held the gaudy strapless princess style dress up to myself.

"Maria, please, don't yell at her." I spoke meekly as she huffed about the fitting room, "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I've obviously gained weight since I gave her my measurements... I'll have no problem losing the weight, just give me two weeks. It'll be gone and the dress will fit."

The small woman took a deep breath and nodded, "If you can lose the weight-" but my mother stopped her.

"No, no...that won't be neccessary." she looked up at me momentarily before looking back to the dressmaker, "I'll pay you for the dress as is, we won't be needing it altered anymore. I'll write you a check for it now."

"Mom, really, I can-" but as she'd done before she waved off the comment and told me to put my clothes back on, "It's a really lovely dress." I murmered to Maria, though it was nearly a lie, I did enjoy the bodice.

After my mother wrote out the hefty check, she left the studio and waited in the car as I doddled around. I hadn't realized I'd gained that much weight, true, my bras were fitting a little more snug, and so were my shirts, but it really wasn't that big of a difference. My mother honked the horn as I exited the building, and as I closed the door she instantly turned off onto the road.

"Why did you do that?" I asked angrily, I didn't care if she was mad at me, "She was devastated, mom. And I can lose the weight, it won't take long either!"

"No, you can't lose the weight, Kaelin." she turned quickly to look at me, but the angry expression I'd expected had been replaced by a thoughtful gaze, "You're pregnant, Kae, you're not going to lose the weight. It's a baby, you don't run it off."

I was almost stunned into silence, but the first thing that came to mind was, "How would you...? Holy fuck." I mumbled before my voice rose, "Holy-fucking-shit! Oh my god...I'm....oh my god."

Typically my mother would have chided me on my cursing, but I think she understood this time.

The car was silent, but in my head I was running through every possible explanation, the flu, I was about to have my period, stress, but nothing seemed to stick quite like the idea of a baby. I'm sure I looked like a complete moron as I pressed my hands lightly on my stomach, as if something was going to instantly appear.

I'd never thought that when I got pregnant I wouldn't notice it, but every little thing I'd experienced was easily explained away by something else going on in my life. The nausea was from all the odd foods I'd been eating, the back pain was from carrying all the heavy boxes up flights of stairs... but when I added it all together, they were the most common signs.

Apparently, I was an idiot.

When my mother finally dropped me off, she only pulled up infront of the building silently and waited until I was out of the car to actually say something, and then it was only, "Take a test..."

I watched her drive away quickly before heading up the front steps and the rest of the way upstairs. I took each step slowly, my mind was still reeling. I wasn't sure if I was more surprised than scared, the happiness that I would have thought was an instantaneous feeling hadn't set in quite yet. And each step took me closer to Gabe, which was also worrying me, did I just tell him? Or did I come up with some elaborate surprise for him? I wasn't even sure if I was pregnant yet, I hadn't even taken any sort of test.

But, in the back of my mind, I knew I was.

When I reached the door I lazily took out my keys and unlocked it slowly, the TV was blaring and I could hear multiple voices.

"Great." I found myself mumbling as I stepped out of my shoes and set my purse on the kitchen counter.

I was surprised to see William sitting beside Gabe on the couch, both were fixated on whatever program was on. I walked through the living room and sat down on the only empty chair, though they barely paid me any attention.

"Hey, babe." Gabe jumped up the moment the show went to commercial. He kissed my cheek quickly before sitting back down, "How was the thing?"

"Hi, William." I greeted him, purposefully avoiding the question, "I'm sure you're only in town for a day or two, but I really need to talk to Gabe, alone. Can we call you later?"

Bill's long arms reached down his outstretched legs and he yawned, "Uh, sure, sure?" he took the last gulp of his soda and got up, "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," I nodded. We said goodbye before he tossed his garbage away and headed out.

"What was that for?" I turned to look at my husband as he raised his hands in question, "We weren't doing anything, just watching TV, Kae, we haven't seen William in a while and I'm not sure when we'll get to see him again."

"If you could shut up for ten seconds I would be able to explain." I snapped. That was another thing that should've tipped me off, my sudden bouts of anger.

"Well, explain please." he rolled his eyes before settling back on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited.

"I'm pregnant." the two words came out quickly, but it took a minute for him to actually react, "Gabe?"

"But...how?" he questioned, apparently the word 'pregnant' took away all of a mans previous knowledge on how exactly a woman managed to get that way, "When? Holy shit...How did this...Wow."

He spoke so quickly I hardly knew if he was speaking English or Spanish. "Well, how is simple, we had sex. When... I don't know."

He shot me a look that said 'I knew that', but went back to staring at the floor right afterwards. Before I knew it he was pacing in the space between the kitchen and the living room, "Well, are you sure?" he asked quickly, "Did you take a test without me?"

"No, I haven't yet..." I replied quietly, "My mom told me. But, I mean, it makes sense, right?"

"Yeah, actually...it does." he chuckled with a sympathetic smile, "We should get a test. You want to be positive, right?"

I nodded when he sat back down, his long arms reached out for me and I crossed the small space between us. His embrace held me tightly, though I could feel his hands investigating my lower belly. We were both morons.

"This time it's right, right?" I asked quietly.

It had only been a little over a year before that I had thought I might've been pregnant, and then it would have become a bad, bad mess, but now, our life was stable. We were actually married for one, but we were both at good places with our careers, maybe now was the right time.

"I don't know how ready I am." he admitted quietly, "But... I mean, we can do it."

"Yeah." I agreed.

- - - - -

"Which do we get?" I asked, and after our long talk at home I was beginning to feel a little optomistic. I smiled up at Gabe as he looked thoughtfully at all the different brands of home pregnancy tests and squeezed my hand.

"I always see commercials for that EPT one, and look," he picked up the lavender package with a sarcastic smirk, "It's a value pack!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Well, are we kickin' it old school or going for the digital?" I raised an eyebrow as he examined both of the packages, "I mean, either way it tells us..."

He nodded and set the digital back on the shelf, "This looks good."

"Yeah, great." I agreed while he tossed the test in the little red basket he was carrying. We walked around for a few minutes, but there really wasn't much else we'd needed.

"Will this be all?" the middle aged cashier asked when Gabe dropped the small box beside the register.

"Yep." I said with a smile while she rang it up.

I paid and Gabe and I headed back home. We walked the short distance between the small drugstore and the apartment quickly. I was sure both our minds just wanted the little bit of confirmation that would seal the deal. Before we'd left I'd made sure to drink a hefty amount of water, but apparently it was taking it's time on making it's way through.

"You have to go yet?" he asked after setting the TV on mute. I only shook my head, "Go drink some more then."

"I'd rather pee it out than have it burst my stomach open, thank you." I shot back before yawning. I'd nearly drank my entire body weight in water, I just didn't have to use the restroom yet. While Gabe watched TV in the living room I headed into our room to wait it out.

I flipped through TV channels before falling backwards with a thump. There were too many things distracting me, and all I could do was lay there, motionless in thought.

"Shit," I groaned before suddenly letting out a quiet sob. Everything was happening so suddenly, I could barely handle it. "Uh," I sucked in a quick breath as I answered my phone, "Hello?"

"Um, Kaelin?"

My lips formed an instant frown at the sound of her voice. I hadn't heard from Cori for at least a month and a half, I hadn't expected to hear from her at all. "Yes." I was surprised at the cold tone of my voice.

"Jesus Christ." she hissed silently, "I just called to try and patch things up."

"Mhmm." I chuckled, nodding my head against the pillow, "Sure, sure, of course."

There was no way she just wanted to 'patch things up', she was never one to just forgive and forget, she held things with her for life.

"I truly am sorry, Kaelin." she began, and I'd known Cori long enough to know that she was actually being sincere, her voice became nearly submissive when she was really sorry, "It was very childish of me act the way I that I did, but you know me, I let my emotions control me, not my brain."

Excuse, I thought, but I wasn't going to pass up the chance to hear her give an actual apology.

"I'm sorry that I didn't think that Gabriel was good enough for you," she added, "I mean, with my little niece or nephew on the way, I want to be a part of his or her life. Congrats, by the way, your mom told me."

And there was her reason. "Excuse me? Your little niece or nephew?" I crowed in disbelief, completely ignoring the fact that my mother didn't respect my privacy.

"Kae, we both said we'd be eachother kids aunts, it's what we wanted." she explained with a sigh.

"You know what, Cori, I don't want you to be a part of my child's life, if I'm even pregnant." I was beginning to snap, I was so tired of having to deal with her and her self centered attitude, "You've shown me who you really are. You told me I shouldn't marry Gabe, you told me I wasn't going anywhere with my life, I'm a slut, I'm worthless, and you know what, Cor? I don't want someone like that apart of my life anymore, I'm sorry to say that, but it's true, now I've gotta go take a pregnancy test."

Before she could say anything I hung up and got out of bed quickly, thankfully without the dizziness. I could feel the warm tears beginning to trickle down my face.

I cried too much.

I read the directions for the test on the back of the box, took the test, and then waited. While sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter I cried and stared at the small window on the little stick, watching as a little pink spot began to appear, slowly forming a little addition symbol.

"I'm pregnant." I gulped before tossing the purple stick onto the couch, momentarily forgetting I'd just peed on it, "See."

Three chapters within one week? Holy carp, haha.

As if you didn't know already ;]

Never Say Never - 55

"Mmm," I hummed quietly as I emerged from the darkened bedroom into the living room filled with new morning light. Gabe was standing in the kitchen wearing nothing more than his boxers, which probably wasn't as safe or sanitary as it could be, but the fact that he was making breakfast was sweet enough to make up for that. "What are you making?"

I smiled while sitting down at the stool behind him, propping my head up in my hands as I watched him curiously, "Babe?"

"Oh, you're awake!" he turned around quickly, a soft smile on his face before he leaned towards me and pressed a quick kiss on my lips, "Sorry, I was in the zone."

"Oh, yeah, of course." I grinned. I could see two plates with what looked to be chocolate chip pancakes, and if I was correct, they were the vegan pancakes I'd been craving, "This looks promising."

"I know, right!" he laughed. I couldn't help but smile as he waved the spatula back towards the stove, he was planning on making us both scrambled eggs, and bacon for me. "It's going to be a little longer, you wanna take a shower, or something?"

"Hmm, good idea." my legs stood me up before my brain had actually decided I should go. I felt dizzy for a moment, but caught I myself on the counter while Gabe raised an eyebrow at the sight of my flailing arms, "Hey, shush, it's early."

"Sure." he agreed with a nod. As I left the kitchen and headed back towards the bedroom I heard the kitchen door open and just moments later the unmistakable sound of an egg splattering all over the laminate flooring, I paused and waited for confirmation.

"All good!" he shouted a second later.

My bangs swept across my forehead as I chuckled while grabbing a towel from the closet and heading into the bathroom. With the water running at the perfect temperature, I got in the shower, the thick beads of water pounding on my back soothingly relaxed me nearly instantly.

For at least a week or so my back had been killing me, and no matter what nothing but a warm shower would help. I reveled in the feeling while slowly scrubbing my body clean with my White Citrus body scrub, the crisp scent helped to wake me up even more. I didn't spend much longer in the shower, only washing my hair and face before wrapping myself in a soft towel.

Before I slipped into fresh clothes I took a moment to rid my mouth of the vile taste of vomit from my mouth, I frowned as I thought about what I'd eaten the day before, nothing too terrible, the only thing that could've made me sick was the egg drop soup I'd just had to have.

"Gross." I almost laughed at myself before swishing a bit of water around my mouth.

"Finally, it's like you've been in there for days!" Gabe announced when I reentered the kitchen, I sat down across from him and smiled, "You ready, miss?"

"Yep." I replied, making sure to pop the word and smile. Apparently, other than cleaning me, the shower had brightened my mood. "I love these pancakes, thanks, babe."

"Time to kiss the cook." I pecked his cheek before grabbing my fork and cutting away a piece, "Wow, thanks."

"You should be happing I'm completely devouring this and not complaining that they're burned." he nodded in agreement before settling himself down beside me. We ate quietly for a few minutes before he stood up quickly, "What's up?"

"I forgot the bacon!" I watched him reach into the oven and pull out a plate, four or five slices of bacon piled up on top.

Without thinking I wrinkled my nose, "Ew... Gabe, are you sure that was good?" I questioned as he stood infront of me, it smelled aweful, "It really doesn't smell all that great, G."

"We bought it at the store yesterday, it's perfectly fine." he set the plate down infront of me, and the smell only got worse, "Oh god, what's wrong with it?"

"It's just..." I looked down at my plate, I felt terrible for obviously insulting him. He had gone out of his way to get up early and prepare breakfast for me, and I was just tearing it apart. "Thanks, Gabe, really."

The second I reached to take a piece he swiped the plate away, "I don't want you to eat it if you don't want it." he stated slowly.

"Gabe! I want it, it just smells really, really badly. It's so greasy..." suddenly my stomach began to churn, I got up hesitantly, not sure if I really needed to rush to the bathroom or not, "Just put it on my damn plate, Gabriel, I said I'll eat it."

"Whatever." he rolled his eyes before tossing the plate to the counter and sitting back at my side. We ate quietly, though my stomach still felt like it was about to send me running.

I finished my pancakes in no time flat, even licking the melted chocolate from the fork before digging into the fluffy scrambled eggs. He'd already finished his breakfast and was lounging on the couch when I began to eat the bacon that just didn't want to go down. I chewed, and chewed, and chewed before a tiny bit was swallowed.

"Ew." I whispered silently before taking another bit, this time a little bigger, hoping to make it all go faster, though, that made it worse.

"Kae, what's wrong?" Gabe jumped up from the couch and followed me into the bathroom the second I sped from the room, "Oh..."

I leaned over the toilet and spit the mushed up meat into the water, along with the rest of my breakfast. "Fuckin' Chinese food." I groaned while he let go of my hair, "Damn, I think we got old soup or something."

"Well, you never eat the egg drop...maybe your body just wasn't used to it...?" he wondered while leaning against the counter. I shrugged, either way, it still wasn't pleasant, "Maybe you should just lay down, you're not looking too good."

The drops of water flung quickly from the tips of my fingers as I swung around quickly, "Wow, thanks, babe, you're lookin' great too." I glared as I wiped my hands dry, "I'm going back to bed." I told him in a defeated tone.

"What the hell, Kae, you know I didn't mean it like that." he followed me quickly into the room and watched me throw the blankets back and crawl into bed, "Babe, what's up?"

"Nothing, Gabe, nothing at fucking all." My lids fell quickly, clenching tightly together so the stinging in my eyes would go away, "Can you get me the phone, I need to call my mom and tell her I'm not coming to the dress thing.

"Yeah, whatever." he mumbled and all but stormed from the room.

I clenched my eyes tighter and rolled myself into the center of the bed, face down. So much for a good start to the day, and what I really didn't need was to talk to my mother, let alone spend the rest of the day with her dress hunting. A second later my phone landed beside me, he didn't even bother to say anything.

"Hi, mom." I greeted tiredly when she finally answered.

"Good morning, Kaelin." she sighed, "What did you need? I'm trying to get out of the house as quickly as I can, your brother just had to keep me for breakfast."

I knew she was going to be mad, for sure now, "Mom, I really don't want to go today. I ate some bad Chinese last night and I'm tired, and I just don't feel good. I'm sorry, but can we please plan on this for another day?"

The silence between my question and her answer frightened me, I felt like she was plotting a way to get me to come, no matter how I felt. "Why don't you feel well?" she questioned instantly, "You haven't been feeling well for a while now, the last time I called you were complaining, what's wrong? Do you have some touring-disease?"

"Mom," I couldn't help but laugh at her ridiculous question, though I think she may have intended it as a joke, "My stomach's just a little upset, at worst I've got the flu, don't worry."

"I'm not worrying," she stated quickly, which hurt a little. Most mother's would care if their child were sick, but apparently my mom was just worried about the dress hunt, which she'd been planning for weeks, "Just curious. I suppose we'll plan for later this week, I'll call Maria and have her reschedule, she said any day was fine."

That was too easy, I thought. "Okay, then. I'll talk with you later."

"Of course, I love you, tell Gabriel I said hello, and take care of yourself." she said before hanging up.

"Sure..." though, the muttered word came too late, hanging up my end of the line was all I could do before crawling out of bed and hesitating at the door. I knew for a fact I'd managed to piss Gabe off, there was no doubt about that, but I hadn't meant to. I sat on the other side of the couch and patted the seat for Monty, who came bounding across the room and settled at my side, though he persistantly licked the side of my leg.

"Gabe." I said quietly, the volume on the TV instantly flew down, "I just want you to know that my mother says hello...and, I'm sorry."

"Mhmm." he hummed disinterestedly, which was beginning to annoy me.

"I'm sorry that I refused your bacon, I'm sorry I puked all the breakfast up, I'm sorry I got so upset." I listed off the most recent things that had happened, hoping at least one of them would get through to him, "I just don't fell one hundred percent today. I feel all achey and pukey, just overall gross."

"You don't have to apologize for being sick." he gave me a half smile, at least taking his attention off the weather for a minute, "Want me to go get some Advil? I don't think we've got any left."

"No, I'm just going to take some Benadryl and go back to bed. I think I need a lazy day. We've been running around too much." I noted, "I love you, Gabe."

"I love you, Kae." he replied with a grin.

And it seemed that a little extra sleep was all I needed. A good two hours later I was up and helping to finish putting away the last few boxes we'd been too lazy to put away before. And once we'd finished organizing all the DVD's, for the second time, we decided to take Monty on a walk.

For late August it was actually pretty cool out, even if it were only when the wind picked up. Gabe and I headed down the street, hand in hand, while Monty trotted beside us, enjoying all the different scents he was sniffing about for.

"So, what'd your mom say when you talked to her earlier?" Gabe wondered aloud after the walk had gotten too quiet, "You didn't seem too upset when you came out and talked to me."

"Oh," I laughed to myself, "She was actually okay with it. She's just rescheduling for later this week. I think she was actually a little worried that I wasn't feeling well. Well, actually she said she was curious."

"Curious?" he looked down at me, an eyebrow raised, "Your mother is a weirdo, Kae."

"I agree." I nodded a little, the dizziness kicking in again, but I kept it to myself.

Wow, look who managed to post in a semi-short period of time! Haha, I think that last chapter just had me stumped for, oh, a month. I just needed to get that out of the way and get the story going again. So, here's 55. Tell me what you think :]

And ugh, school is so miserable. At least next week we've got Thanksgiving break, and on Wednesday I get to see UnderOath, I'm pretty excited :D

Have you guys got any plans for the holidays? I think I'm having a Thanksgiving dinner Wednesday, because I may be working on Thanksgiving, haha, I have no idea. Or, a Thanksgiving dinner Wednesday with my mom, and Thursday with my dad. Either way, it'll be a good break, haha.

Never Say Never - 54

I had to hold back a laugh as I watched Gabe trying to wriggle into a pair of bright red jeans in the small dressing room of whatever little shop we were in. He'd been trying on clothes for a good twenty minutes, all the while I sat on the small bench just inside the tiny room, watching him slowly trying on the clothing.

"Now tell me, and be honest, does my ass look fat?" he stared down at me with his hands on his hips, his look was serious, but the light smirk playing on his lips made me all but scream with laughter, "Kaelin, I need a serious answer!" he whined for a moment before beginning to laugh too.

"Babe," I stood up while chuckling and stood on my toes to place a quick kiss on his pouting lips, "Your ass looks fabulous."

This time it was his turn to laugh, and so he did, but only after bringing his lips to mine again. "Love you."

"I love you." I grinned before quickly slapping his butt and exiting the dressing room, I called back, "Put your clothes on and meet me at the cash register.

I waited for Gabe at the long black counter, making small talk with the young cashier while my husband fumbled around the dressing room. "So, is he okay in there?" the short blonde's eyebrows raised as a loud thud resonated off the walls of the dressing room.

"I'm good!" Gabe shouted a moment later.

"It appears he is." I replied before setting my debit card on the counter, "We'll be paying with this, no matter what he says." I motioned to the back of the shop where Gabe was now fumbling with the pile of clothes. We still hadn't managed to create a joint account, let alone move back in together.

The cashier smiled as the colorful pile of cloth found it's way to the counter sloppily after Gabe came bounding out of the dressing room.

"Hey, they were getting heavy." he said defensively. I only rolled my eyes before he snaked his long arm around my waist, "So, where're we going next?"

I shrugged before proposing that we just wander the Mall of America, "I think we should just spend the entire day with each other, no one else." And a day with only him seemed perfect, considering we'd had no time for ourselves since we got back from the Hamptons at least two weeks before, "Or we can find somewhere else to go?"

"We can find something else to do, or not?" he laughed as he took out his wallet, only for me to push it away.

"I got it already, baby, no need for that." he didn't have time to protest after the cashier handed me the reciept, "Let's go!"

I took Gabe's hand and headed down the crowded walk way before we made our way quickly down the stairs and towards the exit. Luckily, we hadn't seen any fans yet, which was surprising, "Why don't we grab some coffee or something? Or maybe some ice cream? Or both."

I shrugged as we crossed the parking lot quietly. I wasn't too worried about what we would be doing, I was just happy to be with him. He held my hand tightly until we reached the lovely van we'd snuck away in. "So, coffee or what?" he asked as the engine started.

"Why not." I sighed, taking his right hand while he drove with his left. We drove around Bloomington, Minnesota for at least twenty minutes before finding a small coffee shop. While we waited for our hot drinks we stood at the small counter, quietly. "I love you," I whispered before hugging him.

I smiled while Gabe held me against his chest in the most comforting, loving way, he was the only person who could calm me down while simultaneously giving me butterflies. "Hot coco's ready." he said quietly while the sounds of ceramic mugs dinging together quietly interrupted the silence.

"Mmm, whipped cream." I quickly licked a small dab of the white fluff off the rim of the mug while Gabe and I walked towards one of the plush couches, "This is so perfect it's almost weird." I whispered.

Gabe grinned at me over his mug. The cafe was perfectly lit, just dark enough to give the feel of privacy but enough light to keep you awake. There was beautiful art hung on all the walls and books on all the tables, if I lived in Bloomington I surely would be a faithful patron.

"We should open a coffee shop."

I looked up from the dark wooden floor at Gabe's twinkling brown eyes, he was actually serious. "I don't think so babe, I'm not so good with coffee makers, I only drink it." I laughed. I set my hot coco on the coffee table before me and turned towards my husband, "Aside from that, it would be insanely expensive. Paying for the location, all the little things we'd have to put into it...just, no."

"You're just not being open minded." he sighed which was followed a slight roll of his eyes. He took the relaxed moment to wrap his arm around my shoulders, welcoming me to rest my head against his arm, "This summer..." he said quietly, "It's been fuckin' crazy."

"Yeah," I snorted. Break-ups, make-ups, insane drama, and a wedding, if that wasn't crazy I didn't know what was. "Yeah, but everything's turned out amazingly...right?"

His reply came as a tender kiss on the lips, "Mhmm."

I played with the fraying seam of his brightly colored plaid shirt, "Babe..." I said, almost unsurely while I tried to decide if I really wanted to divulge the information I was about to. Since the moment we'd gotten back together I'd felt the need to tell him about the one thing I'd done while we were apart that I sincerely regretted, but I wasn't sure if telling him was the best idea, "Er, nevermind..."

"Aww, tell me!" he whined quietly, "Come on!"

I sighed deeply before pulling myself away from him, I needed to look him in the eyes. "I really don't want this to hurt you, or make you mad, or jealous or...whatever else you may feel, I just want to be honest." I clarified, my fingers kept twirling at the fraying fabric while I tried to smile, "After we broke up... I spent some time with someone, well, two someones."

"No, babe...you don't have to tell me this." he said quickly. I knew it was becuase he didn't want to know what had gone one in those few months we'd spent apart, but he needed to know.

"No, I have to tell you." I replied, "I spent some time with a couple friends of ours... I'm such a photo slut, but both times I'd been shooting them. Shit, G...I slept with Bren, and Alex."

"I told you you didn't have to tell me." he frowned and almost recoiled from me, "Fuck..."

"Gabe! I needed to tell you, it's been bothering me for the past month!" I exclaimed, my voice hushed, "And we're married now, we have to be honest with each other."

"Yeah, well, I didn't need to know that." he replied, huffing with a roll of his eyes. This was exactly the type of reaction I didn't want, "And just so you know, I didn't sleep with anyone. I didn't go on any dates. I didn't do anything I wouldn't do if I was with you, because I still loved you."

"I still loved you, I promise I never stopped." I put on my serious face and stared him down, "You want to know why I did it? I was lonely, and I wanted to get back at you for kissing Vee." I looked down from his pursed lips, "I know, fucking childish, but... Really, I only ever thought of you. I felt guilty, like I was cheating on you, each time."

"Another thing I didn't need to know, it happened on multiple occasions." he informed me. It was more than apparent that he was upset, jealous even, I knew I would be too if he told me he'd been sleeping with other women, but it was a huge weight off my chest. Each time Panic! was brought up I would instantly think of what happened in that tiny Vegas hotel room, even if I didn't want to. "No puedo creer que estoy celoso. Ellos son los que uno debería ser."

"Hmm?" I questioned, it always bothered me when he mumbled in Spanish, especially when we were having a particularly important discussion.

"Nothing," he waved off the question before his lips turned up, minutely at that, "I'm far better in bed than they are though, right?"

"God, your ego is massive." I snorted, but patted his leg before sitting back again, hopefully ending that conversation for good.

"Babe, we both know that's not the only thing." he whispered breathily in my ear before swooping in for the kiss.

Though, it was settled for a moment, he and I had the tendency of shrugging off uncomfortable things with jokes, and it would more than likely come back up, probably in some petty argument. I sat quietly, his head on my shoulder, before turning my face towards his, "You swear we're good, right? We'll never bring this up again, ever?"

"Since I don't particularly care to talk about it, right." he replied softly, affirming his statement with a nod, "Why don't we get out of here and go to a hotel or something, so we can just chill all day without everyone else around?" his question seemed innocent enough, so I took him up on the offer.

The only hotel within a few miles was the Holiday Inn, but I wasn't picky, so we checked in and headed up to the second floor that overlooked the kidney shaped pool. I immediately collapsed to the burgandy comforter and sighed, I'd been needing a real bed. The queen sized mattress barely fit his long legs, but when his body curled around mine we fit perfectly snugly in the middle.

I rolled myself over and pushed his grey beanie away from his eyes and whispered, "I can't wait to go home, I miss our bed."

"And the things we do in it." he added, his face contorted from it's sleeply, almost angelic state to a huge grin that almost begged for chastizing.

"That too." I agreed, while I bit my lip. Without any thought my fingers danced from the folded edge of his hat down to the tip of his nose, all the way down until their journey ended at his silver belt-buckle, "Want to relive some of those things we do?"

"In no way did I intend for this trip to end in such a fashion." he laughed while his zipper made it's way down, "But, I do not mind this change of plans."

"We don't have to do anything," I replied, swiftly moving the zipper back up, "I mean, if you just want to sleep..." I trailed off witha grin while he took over.

This time his long fingers pulled down the zipper on my tight pants, "Well, you've already got my mind set on reliving."

- - - - -

And like that, Warped Tour was finished. After our lovely stop in Minnesota we spent another two weeks on the road before ending the tour in Los Angeles.

I was sad to see our friends leave for their tours or home, but it felt great to board a plane just hours after their performance and land in New York. Gabe, Ryland, and I wasted no time in heading to Ryland's house and moving Gabe back into our home. The three of us carried box after box back up to our fourth floor apartment, just to leave them scattered about the living room.

"Thank's for bringing him home, Ry." I grinned once we finished unloading the last two things from my car. Gabe and I stood beside each other on the stoop infront of our building while Ryland leaned against his car infront of us.

"All in a days work." he shrugged with a smile, "I guess I'll leave you guys to get settled back in, and remember, if you need anything, I'm just a phone call away."

"Oh yeah, I'll keep that in mind." Gabe laughed, "Thanks, mom."

It was strange to actually say goodbye to Ryland, knowing we wouldn't see him just minutes later like we had for two months. But, when he left Gabe and I walked up the three flights of stairs to our apartment alone.

"I love being home, especially when it's actually our home." he burst suddenly while riffling through a box full of shoes. Sometimes it worried me that he owned more shoes than I did, but that was just one of his many quirks.

I looked up from what I was trying to put away and grinned, "It's always been our home, hon, you just had a sleepover at Ry's." I giggled, "I can't believe you took my movies with you." I shook my head quickly while pulling out at least thirty DVD's and set them back on the entertainment center.

"Your movies?" he countered, "Babe, those have always been my movies."

"So, before we were together you owned Babe: Pig In The City?" I raised an eyebrow as I waved the DVD case at him, his lips puckered in an awkward smiling frown, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." he mocked, raising his odly low, gravely voice to a higher pitched one. "Fuck this, I don't want to put shit away."

"Me either." I agreed after setting the DVD's aside, I joined him on the couch where he'd already gotten himself situated with the remote in hand. "It's good to be home."

"Fuck, yeah." he cheered, though quietly. It only took a minute for me to sprawl out across the couch, stretching my body across his lap to rest my head against the arm. We watched NCIS for some time before he changed it to one of Food Network's many cake challenge shows.

"That cake is so good." I gawked sleepily at the abilities of the many bakers creating cakes after the works of Dr.Suess.

"I can't believe you got that..." Gabe commented just after I had, but he wasn't even referring to the television. I felt his thumb brush over the sensitive skin of my inner hip, ducking just below the waistband of my thin black pants. The moon.

My eyes fluttered shut at the touch and I bit my lip softly, even though I felt like I was about to fall asleep I reached down to hold his hand against my hips. When I opened my eyes he was staring down at me, almost curiously, "I got it for you."

"I know." Gabe's lips formed a faint smile before I sat up and let myself kiss him. He took the iniative and lifted us off the couch, my body resting against his chest while he took us into our bedroom.

Underneath his body I wriggled slightly, my hips rocked against his as our lips worked together softly. I loved the way he kissed me when he really wanted me, there was no rush to it, the love and passion was there, but it didn't seem harried in any way, just tender kisses. I gently pulled his t-shirt off his thin frame while he mythodically traced the sides of my body.

"You're going to hate me." I murmered as he kissed my neck softly.

"I could never..." he whispered before another kiss, "Hate you."

"I'm super tired." I chuckled, a yawn accented my statement perfectly.

"You're right, I hate you." he nodded, frowning slightly before laying himself beside me in bed, rather than straddle my legs as he had been. "Whatever, we've got the rest of our lives for that."

I could only smile at his understanding, I'm sure he was tired too. "You know, I love you." I grinned softly before kissing the very end of his nose, "I'm sleepy."

"Yep, I know. I love you too." he told me after I'd shut my eyes.

The last month had been extremely busy, especially the last two weeks, which left me abnormally tired. We, more myself than Gabe, had been taking afternoon naps to catch up on the sleep. The best thing about being at home, being able to fall asleep where ever and whenever I wanted. Where I wanted to fall asleep was right where I was, in his tight embrace.

I am so happy to finally get this part out! I hadn't planned on finish Warped so abruptly, but I had to. haha. Anyway, interesting things to come.

:] This was pretty filler-y, but whatever, hopefully next chapter'll be more fun, or something, hahaha. What did you think?

Behind Closed Doors - 4

Alex and Jack's stage banter was almost cringe-worthy, but the thirteen year old super-fans in the pulsing crowd completely ate up every awkward detail the two giggled over. The boys rarely included anyone but themselves in the little act, but tonight they had two very special guests, Gabe and I.

Up until I was ambushed mid-set I'd only been an onlooker, but right after their fifth song, Six Feet Under The Stars, I found myself quickly pulled onstage by my older brother after a less than subtle wave from Alex.

I managed to squeak, "What the fuck!" before the bright lights were pointed directly at me.

"Everyone, you know Gabe!" Alex shouted into the microphone amid a loud rush of screams, "But, this little lady is Gabe's sister, Daniella! Now, everyone, say, hello, Daniella!"

The excited crowd roared back a loud hello before laughing at my quick wave. This was mortifying. "Jackass."I glared in the lead singers direction.

"Lil' Sis has a big dilema," Jack added, grinning from ear to ear, as were Alex and Gabe while Zack and Rian watched on, smirks plastered to their sweaty features, "And me, Gabe, and Alex have come up with a fuckin' awesome solution."

"You see, folks, Daniella's best friend was supposed to go to prom with her..." Alex began, swiftly pulling the mic from it's stand and coming to my side, wrapping his sweat drenched body around mine while he explained how Allison had ditched me that night, and decided that going to prom with Marshall Tucker was a far better idea than going with me. "And now that we all know about her shitty problem, let's hear what Mister Saporta's got to say!"

And from there Gabe took the mic from Alex hand and waited while the crowd of young girls screamed, he lived for this, "Like Jack said, Alex, he, and I have come up with a better option. Why not take a special guest to prom, right, D?"

Instantly it all clicked and I groaned, "Yeah, G." I sighed.

"So, we thought you could take Alex to your prom. I mean, he's a good dancer, obviously, he's fuckin' hot, and you will be the envy of every girl there." Gabe smiled over at me before patting Alex's shoulder, "What do you guys think?"

After he asked the crowd the entire room filled with shrill screams while everyone on stage and off stared me down, waiting for my reply. "Come on, Ella, what do you say?" Alex asked, a sweet smile graced his lips and he leaned down to look directly in my eyes, "Will you go to prom with me?"

It was bad enough that my best friend chose a stupid guy over me for the biggest dance of the year, and what could have been one of the funnest nights of her life, but having to stand infront of two thousand people and have them learn all the little details of it was bad. But still worse was having to answer Alex Gaskarth's prom invitation infront of those thousands of people.

With the crowd beginning to chant yes as well as Gabe, Jack, Rian, and Zack all joining in I groaned, "Fuck you guys," before flashing the crowd a big smile and nodding, "Yes." I said quickly into the mic that had been pressed to my lips.

"Yes! I get to go to prom!" Alex obnoxiously cheered, clapping his hands before hugging me quickly, "Everybody say thanks, Ella!"

And with the crowd laughing and shouting I walked off stage, my older brother right behind me.

"I did not deserve that." I stated while slumping down against the wall behind me, "You guys are fuckin' douche bags." I glared, it was probably extremely childish of me, but I crossed my arms and stared ahead while Jack tripped over his feet and fell face first onto the ground.

"You know you're excited." Gabe grinned down at me, ruffling my hair a second later and hugging me the next, "It'll be fun, I swear."

Fun wasn't the word I was looking for, interesting summed it up just a little better. I could only stick my tongue out before I was distracted by the boys on stage.

But all I could think about was that I was going to prom with Alex, Allison was going to murder me, and so would every other thirteen year old girl in the country. True, Alex was attractive, and he was funny, not to mention he was talented, the guy could sing, but it just seemed too strange to even think about having a crush on one of my brothers friends. It was cliche, too.

The set went on for another twenty minutes before they played their final song and said their goodbyes to the mass of fans. Gabe and I got out of the way while people immediately began bustling around the stage, things were being put back in boxes and fans began to filter out the doors.

"Come on, we'll meet em' in the back." my older brother nudged my shoulder towards the small set of steps. I only nodded before hastilly making my way towards the small dressing room the guys had for the night.

We ended up waiting around for a good half hour before anyone even entered the room, and even then it was Matt, their tour manager. "They're outside with fans, Jack just wanted me to let you guys know." he nodded before leaving again.

"Well atleast we know they weren't kidnapped." I sighed with obvious sarcasm before pulling my phone from my pocket and sending Allison a message, You missed out on an interesting night, loser.

Surprisingly, her reply didn't come, even after another twenty minutes of silent waiting.

"I'm kind of hungry." I looked up at Gabe and rubbed my stomach as it rumbled. My brothers brown eyes narrowed and his nose wrinkled, but he sent a bag of Cheeto's flying my way. "I don't like Cheetos."

"Well, you'll eat them if you're hungry." was all he said before exiting the room, leaving me alone in the dingy, sweat-soaked room.

I knew that the life I led was far from normal, only when Gabe was home, that is. The rest of the year I was stuck at home or wandering around with my best friend while we lived our mundane lives, but the moment Gabe came back life was turned upside down. And even though I acted like I hated it, I loved it when he came home, because everything I had to worry about seemed to disappear while I spent as much time with him as I could.

My fingers were coated in orange powder by the time the group of five boys passed through the door, all looking equally tired. "Can we get real food, these are beginning to make me sick."

Jack looked over from his phone and glared, "Thanks for stealing my Cheetos, Ella."

I bit my lip at his use of Ella, "Well, Jackie, Gabe gave them to me 'cause I was starving." I replied, crinkling the bag up as tightly as possible before setting it on the dresser beside me, "Besides, you girls were taking so long out there I was about to die of starvation."

Jack mocked my statement while he untied his shoes and took off his socks, "Time to leave." Gabe announced.

"Aww, no fair, it was just getting good." I whined as I stood up and gathered my few things I'd brought, "See you later, guys."

"Whoa, you can't leve that fast!" Jack exclaimed, dashing from his place on the couch to blocking the door, "You haven't given me the deets."

I merely raised an eyebrow while the taller boy fumbled through a nearby backpack, retrieving a phone and handing it to me. "I don't give mine away, you could be a creeper." he stated.

"Yeah," I snorted. I navigated through his iPhone and entered my name, as well as phone number and a picture of myself before handing it back and smiling, "There, now you can stalk me and I won't have any idea who it is."

My new friend laughed to himself before enveloping me in a sweaty, smelly hug. "Yeah, I'll see you later, D, peace." Jack said quickly before hurrying off the the shower, cheering at the fact that he'd gotten to it first.

The rest of the guys began to say their goodbyes, wishing us both well before going on to whatever it was they'd been doing. However, Alex follwed Gabe and I out to the back of the venue where we'd parked, waving to a small group of girls waiting near by before turning to me and smiling widely, "I can't wait for prom."

I let out a deep groan before burying my face in my cold hands, "I'm still not happy about his at all." I told the two before stepping back, realizing I was surprisingly tired. I guess after a day of trying to keep a group of hyperactive twenty-somethings was taking it's toll.

"Oh, shut up." my brother groaned, "We all know you wanted to go to prom. We all know."

Rolling my eyes was my only reaction, "Whatever, but I'm not spending any money on anything. I didn't want to go, you're forcing me."

Gabe and I were far more alike than I was comfortable with, for he only rolled his eyes before turning to Alex and beginning to try and lay out some sort of plan for the big dance while I pulled out my phone and read my new message. At least Allison was getting around to me now.

I'm sure I did. But, I also had a fantastic night.

Of course it had been, I though, she'd spent it with Marshy. I found myself rolling my eyes at the thought of the two together, "Shit..." I muttered with a light chuckle, now I knew how she'd felt when I was with Evan.

I thought of Marshall the way she'd thought of my ex, he wasn't worth a minute of her time, just like Evan hadn't been. Instead of texting her a sarcastic reply I called her, the phone only rang once before she picked up. "I don't like Marshall the way you didn't like Evan."

Both of the boys before me turned to stare at me after my strange outburst but returned to their planning when they noticed the phone pressed against my ear. Allison, on the other hand, snorted, "I highly doubt that, Evan was the biggest a-hole on the planet and Marshall is the sweetest no-hole ever."

Even though we were more alike than two people should be, we never agreed when it came to guys. We both seemed to have the same taste in men though, they were never the 'right' guy for us, but we never saw it. "Whatever," I muttered quietly, knowing I wasn't going to win the battle, "Oh, I'd like you to talk to someone."

Thankfully, Gabe and Alex were finished, for now, with their planning, so I handed my phone over to my prom date and leaned back against the wall.

He grinned the entire time he was on the phone with her, I could only imagine she was smiling like an idiot as well. Gabe and I listened intently to Alex's side of the conversations, a lot of 'yeah's and 'uh-huh's were said on his part, as well as, "Yeah, I asked to to prom on stage."

Alex only talked to her for a few minutes longer before handing the phone back to me, though he'd already hung up. "She said she hates you and doesn't want to see you ever again." he nodded casually before returning to talking with Gabe.

I merely rolled my eyes, she told me this often. I sent her a quick message, telling her I loved her and goodnight before setting my phone on silent.

Hey, guys :]

I know, it's been about three/four weeks, right? Well, I'm sorry :/ I hate school so much, specifically Algebra II Honors, that class sucks. I'm not the best with math, but I didn't think I was that bad! I got a 61% for the first quarter, go me. Anyway, I've been swamped with homework, but I truly have been trying to write! I love writing, it lets me escape from everything, but I haven't been able to lately. Gah, so stressed, but yea, this is up :]

Hopefully you'll get something soon? I am definitely not promising anything, but maybe? Haha, thanks guys!

Behind Closed Doors - 3

As a teenager it was more than normal to love driving, the freedom of being able to go where ever I wanted, to not have to rely on my parents and brother to chauffer me around town, but I wasn't a normal teenager, and I didn't love driving, at all. I especially disliked it when I was in the drivers seat at six forty-five in the morning, and even more when my older brother was snoring noisily in the backseat.

Somehow I'd been conned into driving into New York City at the early hour, it was probably the idea of skipping school that had lured me in. I was wishing I hadn't been so naive. We'd tricked my mother into thinking Gabe was giving me a ride to school and that the next day, Friday, was a teacher inservice day, meaning I was skipping two days.

I drove slowly in the already conjested New Jersey turnpike trying my best to drown out the obnoxious snores eminating from the backseat of the large SUV with the sounds of morning radio, which wasn't all that entertaining.

The traffic lightened up over the bridge, but then again picked up once I was actually in the city. "I hate mornings." I glared in the rearview mirror as Gabe began to wake up.

"Are we there yet?" he asked, a wicked grin plastered to his sleepy features as he rose from the bench seat and yawned loudly, "Seriously, are we?"

The look on my face gave him his answer and he settled for leaning his head back on the headrest.

"When we get home I'm making coffee, lots and lots of coffee." he began mumbling a list of things to do once we reached his loft, I only tuned it out while I drove, "Hey, turdhole!"

I jumped slightly at his outburst but gave him my full attention, I was at a red light anyway, "What do you want, Mister Saporta?" I asked in the worst English accent ever.

"First, don't ever do that again." he rolled his deep brown eyes before moving on to his second request, "And second, find a Dunkin' Donuts and buy me an iced coffee...make that an iced coffee and a sprinkley doughnut."

"Jesus, you're so fucking demanding." I accused while I thought of where I could actually find a Dunkin' Donuts, "I'm not buying this for you, I hope you know that."

"Oh god, Dan, would it kill you to do one nice thing for me today?"

"It just might." I replied while digging quarters and other spare change out of the cupholder.

Apparently Hey, wanna skip school? means something more like, Hey, wanna skip school and be my personal servant for the day? I thought over actually driving back home and taking myself to school, but really, hanging out with my older brother for the day, especially when I never got to see him, was much better than struggling through a monotonous school day.

I drove around for at least ten minutes in search of a Dunkin' Donuts, and when I finally found one, Gabe actually got out of the car with me. "I thought I was getting it?" I raised an eyebrow as he pulled the door open for me, "Or did we have a change of heart?"

"Hey, Little Miss Sass, I can take you home right now." he glared for a moment before shrugging, "I was never going to make you pay."

"Little Miss Sass?" I laughed while he got in the relatively short line, "Where did that come from?"

My older brother shot me a quick glare before stepping up to the counter and ordering his breakfast, "Your turn, Sasshole."

The cashier looked at us confusedly before taking my order of a vanilla iced coffee and blueberry muffin. We only waited a few minutes longer before we were back in the car again, this time Gabe in the drivers seat while I lounged in the back, slowly eating my muffin.

"So, what are we going to be doing today?" I asked after a moment. I realized I hadn't asked the question before agreeing to join him, "Nothing illegal, right?

"Yeah, we're gonna rob a bank." he snorted before I punched his shoulder, "Fuck, you've been going to the gym, haven't you?"

"No, I joined the wrestling team." I replied sarcastically, "Seriously, what are we doing?"

After a long moment of silence he caved and told me a few of his friends were going to be in town and he wanted me to meet them. "You know, I was like, hmm I'm a good big brother, and I love Little Sister so much that I thought she'd like to spend the day with me. And meet some of my awesomely cool friends, then go to a show, then skip school again. But, whatever, I can still take you home." he kept mumbling to himself as he drove.

"Sometimes I worry about you." I laughed while he went over a few more details.

"Yeah, well I worry about myself sometimes." he added. The serious tone of his voice made me look at him a little closer. As young as my brother seemed he was nearing thirty, and his partying ways were beginning to show. I knew he'd never actually grow up in the sense that he'd become another boring adult, he'd still be Gabe, but he was beginning to slow down, even if it were a miniscule change.

But our thoughtful moment instantly escaped us, "The guys are going to meet us at the house. I want you out of that uniform." he said quickly.

I'd almost forgotten I was still wearing my ugly plaid skirt. "Oh, because I look so fucking sexy in it." I laughed while looking down at the knee length skirt and my matching blazer, the uniform was the farthest thing from sexy.

"Did I say that? Definitely not." he said quickly, "But the guys act like their twelve."

"When are you going to tell me who your mystery friends are?" he only shrugged at my reflection, "Gabe!"

"Dani!" he mocked, "Just get your crap together, we're almost there." And apparently almost there meant another twenty minutes, but it gave me time to take a quick nap, even though the sun had risen and was trying it's hardest to keep me awake.

Gabe and I walked up the stairs to his loft in record time, mainly because I'd challenged him to a race, and I had to pee, really badly. And though I had two things pushing me ahead, he won, only because of his insane height. "You owe me...uh, gas money!" he cheered while unlocking the door.

"I never said I was going to give you anything." I stated while rushing past him. I only spent a few minutes in the bathroom before emerging, a lopsided grin on my face, "When did you get a gumball machine?"

He glanced up from the flatscreen TV and shrugged, "Two years ago? It's been in my closet forever though."

I nodded before taking a quarter from his wallet and heading back into the bathroom. I watched as the red candy-coated gumball came twirling down the spiraled shoot and stopped with a clunk against the small metal door, "Can I have it? Please?" I asked when I reaturned to the living room.

"What is it with you and stealing all my shit?" he asked quietly, shaking his head no before a saddistic smile parted his lips, "Is that good?"

Suspicion instantly crept into my head, but I nodded slowly.

"Last time I was home there were cockroaches in that, all over the gumballs. I didn't change them."

It only took a second for me to fly into the kitchen and spit the gob of red gum into the small garbage can, I couldn't help but gag thinking of the tiny cockroach feet crawling all over the delicious candy. "Oh my god, I can't believe you let me eat that!" I shouted, but from behind the counter I couldn't do much more, "You can be such a dick!"

My brother only giggled from his place on the couch before answering his phone and mumbling quietly, I wasn't even going to try and guess at what he was saying. After grabbing a cup I ventured from the living room to his bedroom, then into his small bathroom. The cabinets only had a few things in them, toothpaste, a toothbrush, and mouth wash.

"Ew." I instantly shot down the idea of brushing my teeth, I had no idea where that toothbrush had been, instead I filled the small cup with a little bit of mouth wash before taking it all in my mouth and swirling it about. And even though it said there was supposed to be no burn at all, I still felt it.

"Why are you in my bathroom?"

"Because you fed me roach-gum." I stated, spitting out the last few drops of turquoise liquid, "Who called?"

"Al, they're gonna be here in a few minutes. Only he and Jack are coming, Rian and Zack are off galavanting around the city. Or so he says." was Gabe's reply.

I nodded before putting the Listerine back in the cabinet and joining him in the livingroom to wait on his two friends, "Why are they even up this early?"

He was beginning to think of an answer before he got up, "That's a good question." he nodded, "Well, they're here, so you can ask them." I was about to ask how he knew they were here when there was a knock at the door, followed by two swift bangs. "I'm psychic, don't worry about it."

And only a minute later two young men came waltzing into the room, Gabe not far behind. "Nice crib, G." the one I knew to be Jack commented before his eyes settled on me, "Holy shit, dude, you kidnapped Rory!" he exclaimed before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Who the fuck is Rory?" Alex turned to Jack and looked at him questioningly, "Seriously?"

"Rory Gilmore was one of the main characters on Gilmore Girls, she went to a private school. Therefore wore a uniform." I explained while standing up and extending my hand, "Daniella."

"Alex." he nodded in a serious tone, "It's nice to meet you."

"And I am Jack." the lanky boy standing beside me nodded, "You're Little Sister, aren't you?"

I flashed Gabe a quick look before nodded, "Yeah, I'm little sister." I smiled lightly before turning away and heading towards the guestroom, "Little Sister is going to change into her clothes. She'll be right back."

I noticed Gabe rolling his eyes before I entered the room and locked the door, I didn't need anyone 'accidentally' walking in on me. Instead of immediately slipping into a pair of jeans I grabbed my phone and hurriedly sent Allison an SOS text.

Why are you texting me at school? was the only reply I got. And even though she tried to hide it, Allison was a complete geek. She loved everything about school, and never liked it when I interrupted her learning.

Alex and Jack, Son. I repeat, ALEX AND JACK! I couldn't wait to read her reply, but there was barely a second between the sending and her capslocked message.

ALEX AND JACK AS IN ATL!?!?! SOSSOSSOS!

I giggled to myself. All Time Low was one of Allison's favorite bands, she had dozens of posters, articles, and photos plastered to her walls of the four young musicians, Yep.

Between messages I let my skirt fall to the floor before digging my jeans out of my backpack, then slid them on while reading her question, why the hell are you so goddamn fucking lucky?

Don't worry, I'll get you to meet them tonight at the show. And before Allison could protest the offer I put my Sidekick on silent and finished changing. When I reentered the living room the guys were all sitting on the couch all looking extremely bored.

"What's the deal?" I asked while plopping myself between Alex and Gabe, resting my head on my older brothers shoulder before closing my eyes, it was still really early.

"I think we're going out to breakfast in, like, ten minutes." Jack offered from the opposite end of the couch, "At least that's what I want to do. I'm starving."

It did look like he should have been starving, he was terribly thin. "I already had a doughnut."

Gabe laughed, "We all know you can eat like a pig, Dan, you were the one who ate seven ice cream sundaes, not me."

"Hey, you said you wouldn't say anything about that!" I shouted, punching his leg before standing up, "At least I got a hundred bucks out of it."

Alex and Jack laughed to themselves while Gabe rolled his eyes, "And what did you blow that on? More clothes?"

I shook my head while trying to think up a response, one that would make him blush at least, "Well, technically I did. I bought a shitload of lace thongs at Victorias Secret, a couple of matching bras too. I'm wearing the red ones right now."

And it worked, his face turned a deep shade of red that matched the color of the imaginary underwear before he glared, "You're such a liar, mom told me you bought new sheets."

"Well, I would have to. They've been getting a lot of use lately." I replied with a sigh.

And with that the room went awkwardly silent, save for Jack's loud yawning and his asking for coffee. It was then decided that we'd go to a small cafe a few blocks from Gabes loft, and instead of all of us climbing into the SUV we settled on walking. While the three friends caught up with each other I walked behind them and tried to enjoy the fact that I wasn't at school.

"I'll have the scrambled eggs with wheat toast." I nodded towards the waitress while she scrawled it quickly on her small notepad before she turned to the rest of the table.

"So, Daniella..." Jack began, though he hadn't completely thought out his question, "Uh, what are your hobbies?"

"Don't mind him," Alex laughed, "He gets nervous around pretty girls."

"Yeah, well, I don't see any." I noted, "And my hobbies? Well, none? I don't really do much."

"Come on, you have to do something!" Gabe's friend told me, "Do you like to draw? Read? Play music? Dance? What?"

"All of the above?" I laughed, I was never nervous, ever. But right then I felt my cheeks begin to redden and as I looked up from the small pile of jelly packages that were now a short wall, "I guess I like to do a little of everything. I used to have this obsession with dancing, like, ballet and tap. I stopped that about a year ago, the fuckin' teacher told me I was too fat."

"Seriously?"

I glanced over at Alex as he surveyed the parts of my body he could see, "Uh, yeah." I put a few more packages of jelly on top of the wall, "Have you ever seen professional ballerinas? They don't eat. They do all they can to stay as fucking small as they can!"

"It's true, I dated this ballerina one time..." Jack chimed in with a little nod before yawning, "Okay, so I just knew the ballerina..."

The rest of the table laughed at Jack's clarification before we were interrupted by the ringing of my phone. I glanced down at the caller ID before grinning, Allison couldn't turn down meeting Alex and Jack.

"Que pasa, Son?" she only laughed quietly on the other end of the line. For as long as we'd been friends she had never managed to pick up on any Spanish, she even chose to take French rather than Spanish in school, "What's up, wiener face?"

"When are you picking me up?" was her only question.

I pressed the reciever into my collarbone to silence my end before turning to my older brother, "When does she want us to pick her up?" he asked, my best friend was sometimes too predictable, "I'm still on her sign-out sheet, right?"

I shrugged before putting my phone on speaker, "Hey, is Gabe still on your sign out sheet? You're on speaker, by the way." I added so she wouldn't completely make a fool out of herself, "'Cause you know he doesn't mind picking you up."

"I know," she replied before a toilet flushed, "Sorry, er, sorry. Uh, yeah he still is."

"Are you on the toilet?" Jack suddenly asked my best friend.

"Um...No?" she stuttered on the other end, she most definitely knew who'd asked the question, "I had to come to the bathroom to use the phone, I swear I wasn't taking a crap while I was talking to you. Don't listen to Ella!"

"Of course you weren't." I laughed into the phone before telling her we'd call her when we were on our way, she only sighed fine before hanging up.

"Food!" Alex exclaime only moments later when our waitress came walking across the small restaurant with a tray full of delicious looking breakfast foods. She passed them out around the table before flashing a warm smile and leaving, "Oh my god, I'm going to die."

"That good?" I laughed as Alex dove through the French toast that was nearly drowning in maple syrup. He could only nod, his mouth was completely stuffed.

Yea! A new chapter :D

Hopefully you enjoyed this, and if you also read NSN Chapter 53 is up http://echelon92.buzznet.com/user/journal/4666681/never-say-never-53/

Anyway, this gives a little insight as to what's going to be happening in the rest of the story :]

Never Say Never - 53

The energy that Nat and Sean brought to the stage never ceased to amaze me, and by far, they were one of my favorite artists on the tour to shoot. It was only one song into the set and I was almost too tired to move anymore, between Nathaniel's spastic jumping and Sean's running I'd been jogging from one end of the stage to the other, all the while dodging security and flying body parts. I was thankful when Sean paused between the songs to talk to the large Milwaukee crowd.

I rested against the stage and sipped water while the two bandmates continued their banter.

The show in Milwaukee marked a big day on the tour, the first day of August, which meant the tour was beginning to come to a close. There were only seventeen more days until we would all be off to our respective homes, tours, and rest stops. Luckily, I wouldn't be going home alone, Gabe had made sure we'd have some time together before he was yet again jetting off to Europe.

My rest was short lived, because before I knew it I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby was blaring through the speakers that were nearly as tall as I was. And after the song was through, and they had sped through ChokeChain, the less than enthusiastic security guard told me I had to go.

"Hey! Get back here!" a deep voice shouted from behind me while I made my way up the stage ramp.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to see a bright orange shirt standing before me, "Yeah?" I raised an eyebrow as I looked up at his stern expression before taking a step back, "What's the problem?"

"You can't go up there." he stated, pointing up at the stage.

"Uh, yes I can actually." I nodded, pointing towards his clip board, "Kaelin Saporta."

"I don't have a Kaelin Saporta." he shook his head, "I have a Kaelin Roberts, no Saporta."

I laughed quietly to myself, "I recently changed my name, but I was Kaelin Roberts." I replied, adding a quick wave at my pass dangling from my belt loop, "I promise I'm not an imposter, could I please go now?"

The large man merely rolled his eyes before waving me towards the stage.

There were already quite a few people waiting on the sides, some fans as well as friends. I settled myself next to a girl I knew to be working on the tour, Angela, she only smiled before returning her gaze on Nat, the smile not fading from her soft features. She was completely and utterly falling for him. I could only grin at her before snapping a few more photos and enjoying the rest of the set, though the intense heat wasn't making it that easy to do.

Per usual the boys ended their relatively short performance with Don't Trust Me, which seemed to be the most infections song on the tour, everyone was singing it; the crew, the crowd, and everyone on stage. As the duo sang the final words they thanked the crowd before retreating from the stage, shortly followed by everyone else.

"You guys were awesome today." I smiled at Sean, hoping Nat had heard me as well, wherever he was.

"Thanks, Kae." he grinned, wiping the sweat off his face before dousing himself in a bottle of water. I thought it completely defeated the purpose of drying himself off, but I didn't ask, "Where were you? I didn't see you at all."

"First I was down infront of the stage, and after that I came and sat at the back with Angela." I replied, motioning towards the love sick girl vying for Nathaniels attention, "Poor girl."

"Huh?" Sean raised an eyebrow before shrugging, "Whatever, I'm gonna take a shower before he does, bye."

I laughed a goodbye before taking my phone from my pocket, the loud ringing was now attracting the attention of others. It was only a text from Gabe, a simple I love you. I grinned, and knew the smile would be there for hours. It seemed like I'd been floating through the days since the wedding, despite all the opposition we faced, and the planning of a second wedding.

I replied with a return of I love you before slipping my phone into my pocket again and heading towards the gate, managing to bump into the people bustling by, apologizing to the girl behind me, "Oh, sorry." I patted her shoulder before heading off again.

"Bitch." Sara's familar voice sneered as I took a step away.

I turned around, my eyes wide at the statement, "Excuse me?"

Her dark brown eyes smoldered angrily as she stared me down, "You heard me, bitch."

"Okay," I laughed. I couldn't believe it, Alex's little girlfriend stood before me, arms crossed tightly over her chest staring at me, shooting daggers. I'd only met her once in my life and it had been for all of two minutes, her hate was more than dramatic.

"You know, I can't believe you'd even bother showing your face around here anymore." she took a step foreward as I took a step back, "Everyone hates you." she made sure to emphasize every word, using the tactics of a fifteen year old girl to intimidate me.

"If everyone entails Alex, Jack, and yourself, I know." I sighed, "You know, Sara, I can understand you, sort of...Just get over it." And before I knew it her tightly balled fist collided with my cheek, "What the fuck!?" I roared, holding my tingling skin and staring at her incredulously, "What are you doing?"

"You're nothing but a fucking bitch," she snapped, venom filling her every word, "You cheated on Alex with a guy who cheated on you? Obviously you have terrible standards, but someone like you deserves that, a shitty relationship, you're worthless."

I couldn't believe the words she was throwing at me, bitch? Worthless? "Who do you think you are that you can say things like that to me, you don't even know me!" I shouted. Now people were taking notice, I could see Nat out of the corner of my eye eyeing Sara and I carefully, "You should be the one worrying! Obviously Alex was cheating on me too, you're with him now. Your standards aren't all that great either."

She was about to take another swing at me when Alex seemingly popped up out of no where, "Sara! What the fuck are you doing?" he stared at the young girl and held her shoulders, looking her straight in the eye before turning to me, "Seriously, someone tell me what the hell happened? Kae's got a fuckin' bruise on her face!"

"You're girlfriend just attacked me." I stated, glaring at the two, "You two can just fuck off, I'm through with your childish shit."

I didn't even let Alex begin to say what was on his mind, I just walked away quickly, fuming. For two weeks the three had avoided me like the plauge, and when I just happen to run into Sara she completely freaked on me. "Fuck." I clenched my teeth as I walked, the overwhelming anger and hurt were beginning to come through.

As I walked across the venue I kept my face down, if Alex had noticed the bruise obviously others would too. Gabe would be furious, I knew that for sure. It only took a few minutes to reach my bus, and get on without a word, hurriedly making my way to the bathroom.

"Gross..." I winced at the light purple bruise already present on my cheekbone, she really could punch hard.

"Hey, I thought you were doing another shoot?" Gabe poked his head in the bathroom door quickly, raising an eyebrow at my appearance, "Did you fall again?"

"That was one time!" I frowned, and shook my head before acting as if I were going to punch him, "I was punched."

"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, and even though he should have been worried, I couldn't help but notice the slightly amused smile he was trying to hide, "Who hit you?"

It wasn't a surprise when I glared, "Alex's girlfriend, she just came out of no where and started going off on me and then she hit me! It was fucking ridiculous!"

"Why?"

My eyes rolled instinctively, "Because I'm apparently the most worthless piece of shit on the planet." And though I knew it wasn't true, I couldn't help it when I bit my lip, knowing the familar feeling, "I'm a bitch, a cheating whore...everyone hates me."

"No." he stated firmly, quickly pulling my sweaty body into his, "You're definitely not, Kae, you're the best thing ever."

I only breathed in deeply, his cologne nearly knocking me out, I hated that the overuse of body spray was the alternative to a shower. "You have to say that." I mumbled into his chest, "If you don't you know I'll hurt you."

He laughed before disagreeing, "I don't have to, hon, I want to. I want to because it's true, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I'd been on the verge of tears before, but after his sweet comment I couldn't hold them in. "I love you," I sniffled, holding onto him tightly while I cried a mix of angry and happy tears. The fact that Sara, Alex, and Jack seemed to think I was the antichrist made me far more upset than it should have, but having Gabe there to comfort me was a blessing.

"I love you, too." he chuckled, kissing the top of my head, "You done for the day?"

"I just need to lay down." I sighed. Gabe backed away and let me pass by as I wiped the mascara filled tears from my cheeks, "You guys don't go on until one-fifteen, right?"

He confirmed the time as we walked into the back lounge, passing Victoria as she made her way out. "Woah, Kae, what'd you do this time?"

"Nothing." I grumbled, she looked at me curiously before looking at Gabe and sighing, "I'm sure you'll hear about it later."

Gabe paused in the hallway and whispered quietly with Victoria before joining me, I'd already taking up much of the couch, so he merely plopped himself on me. "You're a turd."

"I know." he laughed before scooting himself from my hips, "I'll wake you up when it's time."

Hours later I woke up, alone; Gabe as well as the rest of the bus were gone. And as I rose from the couch I groaned at the pain in my lower back, it definitely wasn't my day. And after looking at the dark, crescent shaped bruise on my left cheek I decided it didn't matter if I put make up on, nothing was going to cover it.

I grabbed my phone and camera before heading off the bus. It seemed that the day had gotten much, much hotter; I felt like at any moment I might melt. But, the sun shining off the metallic buses only made it worse, so I hurriedly made my way down the row. As I was about out of the maze my name echoed off the sides of the buses.

When I turned around I saw Alex grimace quickly, more than likely from the large bruise on my face.

"What?" I demanded, though tiredly while he stepped closer, "I'm kind of in a hurry, could you please spit it out."

"I wanted to apologize...for earlier." he raised a finger and motioned to my eye, "I don't know what happened with her, she's just a little off today. I guess?"

"Don't apologize for her, Alex." I shook my head, and crossed my arms, letting my camera dangle from my wrist, "She's an adult, she can obviously make her own choices. She'll apologize when she's ready."

Alex laughed and shook his head, telling me she would never be ready. "You don't know Sara, Kaelin, she holds grudges. She's never going to apologize."

"I know." he raised a thick eyebrow and sighed, "What?"

"I was just trying to do something nice for you, but obviously that'll never be enough."

His snide comment sent me over the edge, "Oh, fuck you, Alex." I snapped, "You know that it wasn't because you weren't "enough". Gabe and I have something, special. We were never going to go anywhere!"

His already red cheeks turned a brighter shade as his jaw clenched, "And how the hell can you know that? You didn't let it go fucking anywhere!"

"I'm leaving." I stated before turning on my heel.

"Yeah, again." he chuckled to himself.

And all I could do was ignore his comment and keep on walking. I showed my pass to the woman at the entrance and headed over to the main stage, even though I knew their set was nearly over.

Ugh, apologies are useless at this point. I've just had so much school work the past few weeks, and it sucks. Pages and pages of math that I don't understand, tons of chem., writing papers for english, tons of ready for history, sketches for portfolio and all of my other lovely classes. It sucks, a lot.

But, hopefully you liked this crap chapter :/

Never Say Never - 52

It seemed almost mechanical when my mother began her noisy crying. I knew for a fact the tears weren't of joy, but anger.

The news that Gabe and I had gotten married was greeted with mixed emotions. For the most part my family was happy for us, especially Julianna and Sam. My older sister and brother were more indifferent than anything else, while my grandparent's were skeptical. Though, the only person who seemed truly ecstatic was my father, surprisingly.

Gabe and I had made a special trip from the NYC stop of Warped Tour to the Hamptons to tell my family in person, considering we'd done the same for his family when we were near their home.

My mother stood up quickly from the couch across from my husband and I, and as she shook her head disapprovingly she fled the room.

"Don't mind her, Kaelin. She's never been one to deal with change all that well." my grandmother, noticing my hurt expression, said, trying to comfort me, "I'm very happy for the both of you. And I'd like to be the first to say, welcome to the family, Gabriel."

He smiled softly in thanks before snaking his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his side while whispering he loved me in my ear. "Remember, we knew it was going to be this way..." he said in a hushed voice, "All that matters is we're happy, right?"

And with a sniffle I nodded in agreement, "Right."

"This is awesome, guys!" Sam interrupted the silent room with his happy exclamation, "Where'd you guys do it?"

I couldn't help but let the thirteen year old boy inside chuckle for a moment, "Um, we had a cancelled show in Miami because the weather was terrible, so we did it at this little B&B on the beach."

Julianna awwed while shaking Sam's hand, "That's so romatic!" she bit her lip before looking at my younger brother, "I wish we'd eloped that way!"

And though I knew that Sam and Julianna had eloped when they were merely teenagers, I'd completely forgotten. And in that moment I realized part of my mothers anger had stemmed from the fact that both of her children had deprived her of what a mother truly wants, to see her children get married.

"I forgot you two eloped." I smiled.

"I don't know how you could forget!" Sam huffed, obviously referring to the monsterous freak-out my parents had, "At least it was only mom who cried this time."

"Oh, hush, Sam." our dad scolded with a roll of his eyes, he'd always denied the fact that he had cried. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, it was those darn allergies."

His lame excuse caused a slight titter of laughter to float around the room, "Sure dad, sure." I nodded, smiling softly at his expression, "I guess we'd better get going then. We really only wanted to tell you guys our news, and now that we have we should be going."

"Kaelin Marie, you sit yourself down. Don't expect to devastate your mother and run off," my grandmother frowned, "You're staying for dinner, wheather you like it or not."

I glanced at Gabe and shrugged, we had time before we needed to leave for Scranton, it was only a little over three hours away, anyway. "I guess we can do that, right?"

"Yeah, we'll just have to drive to PA at night." he nodded.

"Don't be silly, you two need to stay the night. Nothing's more important than family." my grandfather added.

"Well, Gabe's got a show tomorrow, probably early... What do you think, babe?" I asked him, hoping for him to say we needed to leave right after dinner.

"Well, maybe we could stay the night? Leave really early?" he asked.

I forced a happy smile and turned to face my grandparents again, "I guess we'll be staying then."

At that moment Allison's mysterious walky-talkie buzzed to life, "Mama, mama! It Zacky!" his little voice came crackling through the small blue device, "Mama! I come down now! I'm not sleepy anymore!"

I laughed quietly while Allison told her young son it was okay for him to come down from nap time, "And guess what! There's something special here to see you!" she told him before turning off the walky-talkie.

It took less than a minute for the toddler to come flying into the room, "Gabe!" Zacky's deep green eyes lit up when he saw Gabe sitting beside me on the couch, "Gabe!" he squealed again, launching himself at him, hugging him tightly, "Gabe! It me Zacky! Member me?"

Gabe laughed while squeezing our nephew, "I do remember you, Zee!" he gave Zack a kiss on the top of the head and scooped the toddler up off the ground and bounced him on his knee, a little too naturally, "It's so good to see you! You've gotten so big!"

Zacky smiled widely, "Mama says I a big boy!"

"You are a big boy." I nodded, "I missed you, Zee."

"Me too." he nodded, giving me a high five before leaning back against his uncle. "Auntie Kaelin? Where Alex?"

Zacky's question caught me by surprise. I hadn't expected the toddler to remember Alex, let alone wonder where he'd gone to. I shared a quick glance with Gabe and sighed, "Well, right now he's singing songs for lots and lots of people."

"Like Gabe?" he asked.

"Yep." I nodded at his question.

And until dinner Zacky never left Gabe's side. His attatchment to his uncle was adorable, and the fact that Gabe didn't mind it made it that much cuter. We sat in the living room for hours talking with the family before taking Zacky out to the backyard to play. We ended up just running around in the grass, playing tag.

"I gun get you!" Zacky giggled while his little legs sent him flying around the backyard, chasing Gabe and I as we jogged around, avoiding our nephew, "I gotted you!"

I turned around to see Gabe lying in the grass, Zee sitting on his stomach, giggling. "Uh-oh, it's Uncle Gabe's turn!"

"I'm gonna get Aunt Kaelin," he grinned at Zacky before counting from ten down to zero while Zacky and I ran around.

Zacky squealed as Gabe chased after him, but began to shake with laughter the moment his uncle turned from him to running at full speed towards me. Thankfully, my years on the soccer and track teams had left me with the ability to run, and run I did.

I dashed around the picnic tables and past Zacky. "Go! Go! Go!" Zacky was cheering while we ran, clapping his hands excitedly as we flew past. Who he was cheering for, I wasn't sure, but I did go.

But all too soon Gabe's long legs sent him crashing into me the moment I stopped running, I was tackled to the ground in a heap of laughter. Mostly my own, but Zacky and Gabe joined in moments later. "Your turn! Your turn!" Zacky grinned happily.

"Ugh, Zee!" I groaned, "I'm tired now! Why don't we just lay here?"

His arms crossed instantly at my opposition, "No! We play!" he demanded.

"Zacky." I said his name slowly, in the short two years of his life he'd been the most well-behaved child I'd ever known. "You can run around all you want, but I'm going to look for the pictures in the clouds. Gabe, doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Yep, I think so." he agreed, making sure Zacky had heard him before laying back onto the soft grass, "Come on, Zee. It's fun."

I nodded before lying myself next to Gabe. "Come on, I promise it'll be lots of fun. You can see tons of animals in the sky!" I patted the grass beside myself.

As Gabe and I pointed out the shapes of a few animals Zacky became all the more curious before plopping himself between Gabe and I. "Where da aminals go?"

"There's one right there!" I pointed towards the fluffy white clouds and laughed when he continually said it looked like fluffy poop, "Zee, you have to use your imagination, then you'll see them."

"Where my magination?" he asked after a few minutes.

I passed that question on to Gabe. His explanation really didn't clear anything up for the toddler, only that it was what helped you pretend. I wasn't sure if Zacky had understood what his uncle had said, but when he pointed out a walrus I smiled, "It has big teef!"

For the next fifteen minutes we pointed out as many creatures we could, imaginary or real, and when Allison poked her head out the door announcing dinner, Gabe, Zacky, and I raced into the house before washing our hands and joining the rest of the family in the dining room. Surprisingly my mother was sitting at the head of the table, looking as if nothing had happened.

As we ate our first course, which were simple salads, my mother brought the attention to herself yet again.

"Now, I'd like to discuss the wedding." she directed the comment at Gabe and I before proceeding on, "I've already called the country club and they have a few dates open in late November as well as early December, I'd prefer November, it's not too terribly cold at that point, but it's still beautiful. We could even do it outside."

"What are you talking about?"

She raised an eyebrow at my question, "Your wedding, Kaelin, please, keep up."

"Mother, Gabe and I have already gotten married." I couldn't believe she was planning on having another wedding, Gabe and I couldn't afford one, let alone one she'd be planning, "We had a perfectly good ceremony, and we didn't need a reception."

"Yes, but was your family there? No. I didn't think so." she said quickly, leaving me speechless, "I called Donna, that girl from the bridal shop and she said that if we come in soon she can have the dress done by then. And I called Cori, but she barely said a word! Do you know if she's alright?"

I was dumbfounded, apparently my wants weren't a part of this. "We're no longer friends, mother."

And that was how the rest of the night went. I was being forced into a second wedding, although neither Gabe nor I wanted one. My mother and grandparents had decided they would pay for it, and even though it was a kind gesture, I knew they would hold it over my head for years to come.

Once dinner was through and the color scheme, brides maids, and grooms men had been chosen I excused myself from the group and headed up to my room, Gabe on my heels. I didn't say a word as I walked into the room, pulling my arms from my sweater and kicking my shoes away, before falling face first onto the soft comforter.

"Babe..." Gabe said softly as he laid down beside me, gently rubbing circles over my tense back, "Kae, it'll be fine. And this time...at least our families will be there. I know my mom would have loved to see us get married, and the rest of our friends who aren't on Warped, they'd want to be there too."

"It's not that." I spoke into the bed with the sudden urge to cry, "I want everyone to be there too."

"Huh?"

I pulled myself lazily off my bed, propping myself up by the elbow so I could face him, "It's not that. I do wish everyone had been there..." I sighed, taking deep breaths to keep the sudden onset of emotion at bay, "If she doesn't get her way...she throws these little fits. And this wedding isn't about us. It's about us not giving her the wedding she wanted me to have."

He nodded, "I know. It's just...why don't we go along with this? I'm sure we'll get a kick-ass honeymoon out of it."

"Yeah," I laughed at his wide smile, "I'm just ready for bed."

BLAH. This has FILLER written all over it. Ugh, anyway, I promise the next chapter will be much better :D And more exciting!

By the way, I've started a new story! Behind Closed Doors you can go read the first chapter here : http://echelon92.buzznet.com/user/journal/4550651/

And the second chapter here : http://echelon92.buzznet.com/user/journal/4572881/

Behind Closed Doors - 2

Surveying the cafeteria I was overwhelmed by the sea of navy blue. The expansive room was filled, as always, with the mass of uniformed students. Everyone looked identical, save for the hair color, we were all the same. If I'd had anyone in particular I was looking for it would have been difficult to find them. But I had no one to look for, no one to sit with. It was a daily struggle to find an empty seat, the fact that I had no friends in this hell hole of a Catholic school made things even harder.

I walked through the cafeteria after a moment of searching, deciding on returning to my usual spot. Nearly everyday I tried to find a place to sit, but always ended up sitting on the floor infront of my locker. No one ever stopped to talk to me, and I wasn't complaining. The buzz of the school was always blocked out by the blaring music streaming from my iPod.

Sitting on the floor I bobbed my head along to the glorious sounds of Depeche Mode while I picked through my Caesar salad, every few minutes sipping from my bottle of green tea. As much as I despised my private Catholic school, the only thing I liked about it more than my old public school was the food. Since the school had far less students than my previous school the food was actually fresh, and pretty decent.

The day had been going by far slower than I liked, which was probably due to the fact that I actually had plans. Evan had taken the initiative and called me to set up a date of sorts. He would be picking me up, and instead of going to his house or the skate park per usual, we were going out to dinner, then bowling. Incidently, that had also been our first date.

With a smile on my face I finished my salad and tossed the plasticware in a near by garbage can before heading to the bathroom. Before I was even close to the door I could hear the giggling and gossiping of the girls inside, as much as I didn't want to go in there was no time to find another bathroom.

"Shh! Shh!"

The moment I walked through the door the blue tiled bathroom fell silent, something that had been happening with increasing frequency. I merely rolled my eyes at the childish act and headed for the handicap stall, all I wanted to do was wash my hands.

"You can't use that one."

I turned around to see the source of the comment, Elizabeth Franklin. "Oh, and why would that be, Liz?" I questioned, knowing the nickname would more than likely bother her.

"Well, we'll start with the most obvious." Laura Harold began, "You're not handicapped."

The other three girls with them nodded in agreement, "Well, I beg to differ, Laura." Elizabeth countered, sharing a glance with her best friend while their posse snickered in agreement, "Now, tell me again, Daniella, why exactly do you go to this school? You're not even Catholic. You're Jewish."

You're Jewish.

The comment was made on a near daily basis. Yes, it was true that I occasionally practiced Judaism. Yes, it was true that the school I attended happened to be a Catholic one. But the education at the private school was far better than the one I was receiving at my previous school.

"Need I remind you that your "savior" was Jewish?" I asked with a sigh, making sure to actually use air quotes to set her off, "And really, the only reason I'm here is because the school offers a far better education than the one I was attending. But, I would much rather be at the lowly public school than here in a school filled with disgusting snobs like you."

While Laura's jaw dropped to her overly polished saddle shoes, Elizabeth's clenched tightly, her lips pinched together in a perfectly straight line.

"I cannot believe you would--" Laura began before Elizabeth held up her hand, her perfectly manicured nails shone while she wagged her finger infront of Laura.

"Don't bother, Laura." she whispered, "She obviously doesn't know who she's messing with."

I choked on a laugh while I began to leave the restroom, "Wow, aren't you the queen of cliche. Go, Liz!" I gave her a quick thumbs up before walking out the door.

I was nearly thankful that the bell announcing seventh period rang just a moment after I left. Although I didn't want to go to gym, I would have much rather been there than in a small room with Elizabeth and Laura.

Much like the cafeteria the girls locker room was a place I typically avoided. The idea of stripping down into my underwear and bra infront of dozens of girls I didn't care to be around wasn't a great one in my eyes, meaning I changed in the bathroom. Much like the regular uniform, our gym clothes were lackluster, it was merely a pair of navy blue shorts and a white t-shirt with the school name on the front.

I only spent a few minutes changing and slipping on my battered Vans before heading into the gym. More than often we ended up playing a mundane game of around the world while our gym teacher sat on the bleachers reading. But the signs posted announced that today we were going out to the field to play lacrosse.

Though I wasn't much of an athlete the game seemed interesting. Flinging a ball from a small netted stick into a goal didn't seem all that difficult, for the most part. Our classes were seperated into boys and girls, so there was no worry of being trampled by the overly excited guys while we played.

We only spent a few minutes tossing the ball back and forth before the game began. I was put on a team with nine other girls, none of which seemed the least bit interested in the sport. I, on the other hand, was ready and willing to play.

The second Coach Lyons blew the whistle I looked around for someone to throw it to, no one looked like they wanted the ball. So I ran, down the field, and half way to the net I launched the ball, flinging it from the small net at the end of the stick and nailing the goalie in the leg.

"Oh fuck." I groaned the moment she sunk to the ground, clutching her shin in pain, "Are you okay?"

"Diana, you good?" Coach Lyons asked, rushing to her side. The short woman knelt beside Diana for a moment before waving me over, another curse flew from my lips, "I need you to walk Diana to the nurse. Her leg's hurting pretty badly." I nodded slowly and helped the maimed girl to her feet while she grimaced.

"I am really, really sorry." I apologized when we entered the building. The fact that Diana had been one of the girls in the bathroom earlier didn't make the situation any better, "I wasn't aiming for you, I promise."

She let out a muffled laugh as I held her around the shoulders, she was limping far too badly to walk on her own. "I know. It's fine." I noticed a grin out of the corner of my eye, "You just got me out of gym for a solid week."

It baffled me that the girl who'd so openly mocked me earlier could stand practically hugging me as we walked into the nurses office. "Er, you're welcome?" I asked.

"Thanks." she smiled before hobbling to the nearest chair. Nurse Louise immediately gave her an ice pack before sending us back to gym.

And forty-five minutes later the last bell of the day rang, releasing me from the prison-like school. I left the gym quickly and headed around the front of the school towards the bus lane, but was less than pleasantly surprised to see my older brother sitting on the front steps of the school. The fact that he thought he was being inconspicuous made me laugh, considering he had on a neon plaid shirt and almost matching hat.

"How was school?" he asked when I stepped up infront of him. He didn't bother hiding his smirk at the uniform that he still found to be completely hilarious.

"As shiteous as always." I replied as he stuck his arm out, I yanked him up quickly, nearly falling in the process, "So, you were in the neighborhood, right?"

"Of course." he nodded while we walked through the parking lot towards his SUV that was usually parked in my parents garage when it wasn't at his place in New York, "I just wanted to hang out with my little sister. Since when did that become a crime?"

"It hasn't yet." I muttered while I waited for him to unlock the door, and when he finally did, I climbed into the large vehicle cumbersomely, "Have you gone back to your place yet?"

"No." he shook his head while maneuvering through the lot of expensive cars, "Why do you want me gone so badly? I've been here for two days."

I looked at Gabe and sighed, "I don't want you gone." I smiled reassuringly when he glanced over, "It's just strange having you home. I mean, you're gone about ten months out of the year. And those two months of time you are home, you aren't always at the house."

He nodded, "Understandable. But that's why I want to spend time with Little Sister, I barely ever get to see you. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of shit, Dan. I haven't even met that boyfriend of yours, Eden?"

"Evan." I corrected, dodging his hand that was ready to ruffle my already humidity-curled hair, "We're actually going out tonight."

Gabe grinned while he drove on, "He's going to get a talk."

"Gabe!" I whined. Our dad had already been over that with Evan, and it nearly made him break up with me before we'd ever gone out on a date, "Please don't. I'm not gonna sleep with him, I will promise you that."

"Ew! I don't even want to think about that!" he shouted obnoxiously, "I was planning on talking to him about school."

I laughed while rolling my eyes, "Yeah, I'm sure "school" was going to be the topic."

"It was." he nodded, "You wanna grab a snack or something?"

I shrugged before sinking back into my seat, "Sure." My older brother nodded while he began to take backroads, which confused me, I had no idea where we were headed.

Nearly two hours later we finally arrived home, thankfully. The moment I walked in the door I headed down the hallway towards the livingroom, dropping myself to the couch with a groan, "I seriously think I'm going to die." I sighed, unbuttoning my coat and squirming my way out of it.

Gabe merely moaned in a zombie like fashion before settling himself on the couch opposite from me.

What had been meant as a simple snack had turned into a competition, as always. He had taken me to my favorite place, Shake Pit, and bought us both ice cream sundae's, and somehow, it turned into an ice cream eating contest. In the heat of the moment it sounded, and was a lot of fun, but as I layed on the couch, my stomach filled past capacity with whipped cream, sprinkles, hot fudge, ice cream, and bananas, it had been one of the worst decisions I'd ever made.

"You still owe me a hundred dollars." I mumbled, "I won."

"I don't understand how you could fucking consume so much dairy. You're gonna be so sick!" he laughed before flipping on the TV. We were probably two of the laziest people on earth, "So, where are you and Evan going tonight? The drive-in? Make-Out-Point?"

"Fuck you," I laughed before launching a pillow his way, "We're going out to eat and then we're going bowling, is that acceptable, dad?"

"I guess." he shrugged, smirking while he settled on the Food Network, I couldn't understand how he could stand looking at food at this point. "You going to touch his balls?"

Before I even had a chance to yell at him, our mom shouted, "Gabriel Saporta! Manners, you don't talk to your little sister that way! Especially infront of me!"

Having mom yell at him was always great, considering he sometimes let the whole band thing get to his head. She mumbled to herself as she set down her purse and stepped out of her shoes. "Yeah, Gabriel. Manners!" I chided the same way she had.

He waved his middle fingers in the air before me then glared, "You're going to touch his balls!" he mouthed it again before resting his head on a pillow to watch TV.

Instead of calling for mom I laughed and got up, I definitely needed to change out of my uniform. When I was finally shut in my room I stripped myself of all the plaid and pulled a dark red, simple dress, which was far more comfortable than any pair of jeans would be.

"Hello?" I answered my phone questioningly at the unknown number, "Who is this?"

"Hey, babe!" Evan shouted into the phone.

"Hi, Ev." I smiled softly to myself before settling down infront of my computer, "What's up?"

"I'm going to be a little late for our date, but I'll be there. Cool?"

I rolled my eyes, at least he was bothering to tell me this time, and made a point to tell me he was still coming. "Yeah, Evan. I don't mind at all." I replied, sarcasm dripping from each word, though I knew for a fact that he wouldn't catch on, "I'll see you later."

"Sweet! Love you, babe!" he said before hanging up.

A few minutes later I rejoined Gabe in the living room, though he'd fallen asleep and was loudly snoring across the room, drool dripping down from the crease of his mouth. I snatched the remote off his leg and flipped through the channels, only to find that nothing was on. Typical.

My mom and dad passed through the room a few minutes later, announcing they were going out to dinner and would be back late. All I could think was that my parents went out on dates regularly while my boyfriend and I could barely talk to each other, and really, Evan wasn't my boyfriend. We were in some strange limbo area, somewhere between friends and dating.

"Oh my god, why'd you let me sleep for so long?"

My eyes opened quickly at the question, I hadn't even realized I'd fallen asleep. "What time is it?" I yawned, hugging the throw pillow to my chest tighter.

"Nine thirty." he replied after checking the time on his Sidekick, "Weren't you supposed to be out with Evan by now?"

I replied with a huff. "Yeah, he said he was going to be a little late." I glared at the TV screen, he was more than a little late at this point. "He was supposed to be here at seven."

"Want me to kick his ass? I know people." he tried to lighten my mood, but it did nothing. "You wanna go out with your Big Bro? Ditch that douchebag and chill with me?"

I guess I would much rather hang out with Gabe than have a shitty, tense date with Evan. "Yeah, where do you want to go?"

You have no idea how disappointed I am. I wrote the best chapter I have EVER written. I was SO PROUD of it. And Buzznet didn't save it. I came back to reread it and it was completely gone, a blank page. So, I wrote it again, this is good, but not as awesome as the first version was. UGH. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one :]

And what do you think of the title? I know there are those journals on Buzznet called 'Behind Closed Doors : __________" and I always start singing, "Chairs thrown and tables toppled..." haha :] anyway, tell me what you think!